This has made me think of my current relationship. We never went through the NRE (New Relationship Energy) stage. In the past, a lack of NRE would have made me believe that something was wrong and the person was not someone I should be with. In the present, I see my lack of NRE as something healthy. Rather than the blinding glare of NRE love, I am experiencing something much more subtle. My current situation is comfortable. In the past, comfort would have signified a lack of passion; a downward journey. In my current mindset, this comfort is something that I want to hold onto and continue to experience. It’s not a stagnant comfort, but one (I hope) with potential for a life time of growth. Appreciation, comfort, contentment, care, respect, and the pleasure of experiencing another human being who is, in many ways, like myself. There is a quiet joy in this. I don’t think he is my soul mate; I hope he will turn out to be my life mate.

“If you bake bread with the wheat that grows on my grave
you’ll become drunk with joy and
even the oven will recite ecstatic poems.
If you come to pay your respects
even my gravestone will invite you to dance
so don’t come without your drum.
Don’t be sad. You have come to Gods feast.
Even death cannot stop my yearning
for the sweet kiss of my love.
Tear my shroud and wear it as a shirt,
the door will open and you’ll hear
the music of your soul fill the air.
I am created from the ecstasy of love and
when I die, my essence will be released
like the scent of crushed rose petals.
My soul wants to leap and join
the towering soul of Shams.”

– Ghazal (Ode) 683
Translated by Azima Melita Kolin
and Maryam Mafi

Painting by Lisa Deitrich