In the interest of research purposes for my thesis, I decided to attend a Christian Science service to experience it first-hand. It was unlike any service I have ever attended – an interesting mix of Christianity and Metaphysics. One quote in particular stood out to me:
“Devotion of thought to an honest achievement makes it possible.”
I’ve finally selected my topic for my Master of Metaphysical Science Thesis: Christian Science.
Proverbs 31:10-31
It gives me something to aspire to!
| I joined a Tuesday night Encounter Group at my church. Each week, we are doing a study of one of the Psalms. I’ve discovered, as of late, that there is much comfort (and inspiration) to be found in these studies. David, in the desert of Judah (Psalm 63): “My soul thirsts for you. My body longs for you. In a dry and weary land where this is no water… My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods.” This actually came to mind over the weekend when I was preparing a grilled sandwich for my partner’s son. It smelled wonderful. I longed for the taste… brought back by fond memories. However, in the quiet of my mind I said a quick prayer, asking to be satisfied and grateful for that which I was partaking – something raw and green. Saying a quick prayer, my soul was satisfied and I felt content. |
This past Thursday, I delivered a speech entitled “Eat, Pray, Love… Gratitude“. Inspired by the book Eat, Pray, Love, I was made aware of the parallels between the book and my own growth/development and chosen path in life.
Eat: Raw and living foods. Even though I am detoxing and relatively miserable at times, I know it’s a temporary state and I’m willing to push through it. The fact is: I am more concerned these days with what comes out of my mouth, rather than satisfying addictions going into it. I miss eating certain things, but I am enjoying and relishing the process and learning experiences that come with having to deal with one’s feelings head on… I can no longer eat them!
Pray: My growing involvement with church/activities. I am finding my new community to be loving, inspiring, and supportive. I’m happy to be a part of it. I am attending weekly service, as well as a Bible Study and Encounter Group. This is becoming an important part of my spiritual journey.
Love: My relationship. Am I really considering committing myself to someone with 2 young children? Am I willing to put aside most of the “me” to become a “we”. The answer is yes. I love him deeply and want to spend my life with him. I don’t think I’ve ever been able to say this – calmly, rationally, and without a drink or 5 2. Everything I am and will be, I want to share with him.
I eat. I pray. I love… 1 Cor 13:13b “But the greatest of these is love.”
I have a new vision of Jesus. Having been raised Catholic, the ceremony and rigidity of the mass left little to inspire me. It frightened me. It bored me. As an adult, it frightens me and bores me still. I want to be excited!!! Ever since I have been attending Evangelical Baptist services, I am excited because it feelings magical. Charismatics intrigue me and get my fire going. I’ve finally seen and feel the light so to speak. By this, I mean that my distaste for Catholicism drove me running and screaming from faith, into the seemingly different and “safe” world of the agnostics, atheists, and warm fuzzy new agers. I dabbled, I experimented, I wondered where I could fit it. At this point in my life, I have come to a new level of understanding, and a fresh perspective of looking at things. I still don’t know what I believe, but I do know that there is room for Jesus in there. With all of the other things I have opened the door to, opening the door to Christian concepts is not too far of a stretch at all. I (want to) believe in magic and miracles. Having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, from the Evangelical perspective, is about this magic and raising this fire and inspiration within.
For the past several weeks, I have been attending a bible study class. No matter what the doctrine or dogma, I am steadfast in my belief that, in the end, it’s all the same. We are separated by words, when in the end, we share so much commonality. Despite the fact that I am, at best, a spiritual agnostic, I find intense inspiration in evangelical Christianity – perhaps because it has a certain element of magic to it. Raised Catholic, I fell away from religion for a number of years during my teenage years and never thought about it twice. However, for the sake of familial ties, I begrudgingly attended a Baptist service several years ago. Surprisingly, I thoroughly enjoyed it – more for the joy of the people than the actual content – but it was a start. Since that time, I have explored and experienced a number of “flavours” of Christianity. Resonating the highest with me have been Christian Science, Baptist, and Pentecostal. The miracles of Christian Science, and the magic of the evangelical Baptists and Pentecostal Christians strike a deep chord with me.
Sitting in bible study, it’s quite apparent that I share strikingly different beliefs than the other ladies. I keep silent out of respect. It’s their faith, and I have no desire to combat or challenge it. However, I am able to take the concepts and ideas and fit them into my own and I derive benefit from them. I enjoy the prayer circle as it is a meditation of peace for me, and I am blessed by putting out positive and healing energy to others.
I feel as though I’m experiencing a homecoming to God. I used to be hell-bent on excluding God from my life. Now, I would prefer to be inclusive rather than exclusive. I appreciate the fact that my partner was raised with religious parents. I appreciate the fact that my step mother is very strict in her faith and enjoys my company at her church. I appreciate the fact that she has family in Guelph who welcome me with open arms into their place of worship. In the past, I was sorely determined that any wedding I might have would be purely secular. In looking toward the future, I’m not interested in the possibility of a church wedding, but I wouldn’t feel the need to completely exclude God either. I love my current relationship with the divine; a relationship that is all my own.
