Raiders of the Lost Spark

“Why did we lose the connection with our ancient spiritual heritage?”

In 1688, William of Orange and Mary – the daughter of King James (of the King James Bible fame) – became rulers of England. They passed a Toleration Act that, if sworn to 39 doctrines(1), would allow people to worship without fear.

Worship without fear? From the days since that ancient spiritual heritage thrived, worship has always had an undercurrent of fear. From the Roman world to Post Reformation, the fear was physical pain – torture, bloodshed, and eventual death. Present day, the fear is mental and emotional. In many ways, this is even more damaging in the long-run.

(1) – Also known as the Thirty-Nine Articles

• The Saint with Two Bodies (Swami Pranabananda) was able to appear in two places at once.
• The Perfume Saint (Ghanda Baba) had the ability to astrally-project scent and permeated odorless blossoms with rose and jasmine.
• The Levitating Saint (Bhaduri Mahasaya) was able to defy the law of gravity as a yogi’s body was purported to lose its grossness after certain pranayamas.
• The Sleepless Saint (Ram Gopal) took residence in a cave, engaging in yoga union for twenty hours daily, never sleeping.
• The Fasting Saint (Giri Bala) employed a certain yogic technique that allowed her to survive without eating. It was a Kriya technique that freed the body from its dependence on mortal food – the use of a mantra and breathing exercises.
• The Catholic Stigmatist (Therese Neumann) – although German, not Indian – was cured of blindness as a child. As an adult, she abstained from food and water, except for a daily consecrated host, slept for a mere hour or two a night, and experienced the stigmata.

Unwavering faith and devotion is also a part of the yogi’s journey. Mukunda demonstrated his deep trust on many occasions as a young devotee under his guru Sri Yukteswar.

• Yogananda claimed to only need inheritance from the Heavenly Father; his older brother Ananta sent him and a fellow disciple on train to a selected town without money or means to return home; so moved was Ananta upon their return (having not begged for food nor rupees, circumstance amply provided them) that he asked Yogananda to initiate him into Kriya Yoga.
• While awaiting the return of his guru by train, Yogananda received a telepathic message that he would be late, and sure to his vision, his guru arrived on the train of his instruction.
• When asked by his sister Roma to assist in bringing her husband Satish around to spiritual matters, Yogananda implores the Divine Mother to provide nourishment for them without request. At the temple they are visiting, they are treated to a lavish meal and Satish begins to change his ways.

In describing his guru Sri Yukteswar, Yogananda said, “A master – one who has realized himself as the omnipotent soul, not the body – perceives in all men a striking similarity.” The goal of yoga is divine union; a true master seeks union in both the earthly and the heavenly realms. With mastery come the disappearance of separation and the return of original oneness.

Although certainly not a master, I’ve been seeking such in many areas of my life. Trying to bring my experiences with fibromyalgia to a point of homeostasis has required much in the way of perseverance, dedication, and observance. I see myself as more than a body or a vessel, but I also recognize that there are specific needs that the body has and I attempt to fill them with the ultimate nourishment and care. I have taken a similar approach with spiritual care, engaging in regular meditation practices and time on the yoga mat. Rather than reading self-progressing books for the sake of an interesting read, I try to fully apply the principles to my life.

I am inspired over and over by Autobiography of a Yogi, to the extent that I have decided to write my Metaphysical Science Master thesis on the science of Kriyayoga meditation. This book provides inspiration, enlightenment, but perhaps most importantly hope – something that there is often a short supply of in the lives of people today.

• Readiness; and eventually you will encounter your guru
• Tapaysa – renouncing the satisfaction of one’s desires
• Allow for as much sleep as the body demands
• Eat light, healthy, and unadulterated foods
• The accumulation of knowledge through study
• The practice of yoga asana with the end goal of dissolving the mind into the infinite
• Calming the mind with mantra
• Learning to transmute energy at a higher vibration
• Working with the breath
• Transmuting sexual energy into spiritual energy
• Each new level of surrender brings new powers and faith
• Surrounding ourselves with like-minded individuals – Satsang
• Be straight and open
• Distance yourself from the act of lying; seek only truth
• A livelihood which does not increase your separateness from the world
• Engaging in action without ego (Karma Yoga)
• Bhakti Yoga – ultimate oneness with the divine
• The practice of meditation
• Understand the correct use of the rational mind
• Reflect on your own time and space, and remember that you are HERE and NOW

The idea of BE HERE NOW (being present to the moment) is the core of what yoga means to me and brings to my life; and in return, what I wish to share with others. I wasn’t always able to feel this. I was so caught up in “should” and “should not”; trapped by my ego. Developing a disability shred my ego, cleansed it, and removed most of it. I have to be in the NOW – I don’t know what tomorrow may bring, and I no longer focus on it. The past stays in the past, the future is yet to unfold, and rather than worry about anything, I live for the bliss and happiness of each and every moment.

According to yogic philosophy, there are 5 kleshas that keep people bound to “gross apparent reality.” They are seen in terms of cause and effect.

1. Ignorance (Avida)
2. I-ness (Asmita)
3. Attraction (Raga)
4. Aversion (Dvesha)
5. Clinging to life/fear of death (Abhimivesha)

There are also 4 beliefs that continue the delusion of the kleshas:

• The permanence of objects
• The ultimate reality of the body
• Our state of suffering is actually happiness
• That our minds, bodies, and feelings are our true Self

Over the past number of months, I have had to come to terms with these kleshas and beliefs. I have had to rethink many of my beliefs and ideas about myself and my life.

The last ten years of my life were quite ignorant and ego-centric, filled with attraction and aversion, and clinging to illusionary objects that I somehow perceived as important. The last year of my life has been useful in terms of learning how to deal with and conquer attachment, the last six months educational, and the last two months extremely profound.

The permanence of objects was the first one I dealt with having purged most of my physical belongings. I realized that my relationship to physical objects was greater than my relationship to most of my fellow human beings, and that I had been holding on to useless things for a number of years without any purpose. What was my fear in getting rid of all of that junk? I was attached to it; attached to my past, and was somehow carrying it into my present and thus future.

I had to disassociate myself from my body in light of painful and disabling fibromyalgia flare-up that left me occasionally dependent on a cane, but more challenging, dependent on other people on occasion. Yet, despite my lack of physical prowess and ability, I am finding a happiness that I didn’t know existed. In the past, I often thought I was happy, but now realize that I was suffering. I found false happiness through material objects and possessions. I needed nay demanded a certain amount of shallow attention from the opposite sex and I soothed the aches of my soul with a constant stream of parties, cocktails, and fancy dresses. I was definitely in denial of the polarities of life and their unity, always burying the pain beneath the illusionary objects and concentration on that which brought me a perceived pleasure. In attempting to split these polarities, I certainly suffered.

Pleasure and pain is still a part of my life, but in accepting my pain, I certainly suffer less. I work hard and play hard, but accept the fact that sometimes I have to play less and sleep more. Current life has certainly been about acceptance of “what is” and recognizing the dualistic nature of it. I understand that in having this awareness of it, it will not come to me as an “unwanted and feared intruder” but instead will have the qualities of a comfortable companion that I have come to know and have comfort with.

I reflected and continue to reflect on the fact that I am not my body, the kleshas, and the beliefs that continue the delusion.

According to Patanjali, everything that exists in creation is different from pure awareness because it is impermanent and thus subject to the laws of cause and effect. The reason that human beings suffer is because of their failure at understanding that, although consciousness and awareness feel similar, even though they are two very different things. It is thus ignorance of one’s own nature that is the primary cause of suffering and the causes of this suffering are the root source of actions in a cycle of cause and effect. In other words, it’s a vicious cycle. Yoga as a “multi-faceted method of bringing consciousness to a state of stillness” and therefore offers a reconciliation between Prakrti and Purusa. Recognition of this separation results in freedom and frees the mind from further suffering. I think many people look to yoga as an escape from the busyness and stress of their daily lives, looking to release their minds if only momentarily.

The unity of all things is separate from awareness – pure awareness is unchanging and exists outside of the constraints of time, while creation is undergoing constant change. It is nature that distracts us from pure awareness because it causes commotion. Our physical and mental lives are filled with commotion and distraction that conceal “the fact that our thoughts and actions are almost always tinged with wanting, aversion, egoism, or fear of extinction.” It is the eight-limbed path of the Ashtanga that restrains one’s relation to the outer world and cultivates a steady mindfulness through internal and external disciplines. They are “skillful ways to relate to the world without adding to its suffering or ours.” Eventually, actions born out of ignorance cease to arise for a realized yogi. Yoga provides a way to eliminate commotion, if only for the period of the class. Students are invited to be in the present moment and to allow all of the distractions in their day/life to fade away while they are on the mat – in essence, all of the restraining characteristics of life are removed during this period of “undoing”.

Each aspect of created selves must be allowed to clarify in order for the consciousness to see reality as it really is, and this is done by “yoking” all of our energies to the process of awakening. Patanjali describes yoga as a “system of self-refinement through which consciousness, experienced as mind and body, can come to recognize itself as a material entity, observed by an immaterial pure awareness but not aware self.” The purpose of yoga is to “disarm the causes of suffering and achieve integration.” With the practice of yoga, Pantanjali describes a process that begins with one’s relationship to the external world, and then to within oneself. Practice and effort are required in order to be in a place of stillness, especially since the human mind becomes task-oriented and seeks achievement when it is in a state of stillness. Attachment to this kind of accomplishment or outcome brings suffering; letting go of effort instills freedom. Without attachment, “the seeds of suffering wither and awareness knows it stands alone.” The key, as I see it, is to remember that attachment is contrary to consciousness and awareness. I realize that I have allowed myself to become far too attached to accomplishment on the mat, in a physical sense, without even considering the state of my mind and spirit. This attachment has caused me to suffer during class, becoming self-conscious and fixated at my believed lack of athletic ability, and constantly measuring myself against that which there should be no measurement. I have also been too attached to accomplishment in life.

Pantajili always returns to the doing of non-doing as a way for the body and mind to unlearn what they think they know, and thus reset the course toward pure consciousness. I too need to return to the doing of non-doing because I seem to get caught up within the doing of doing. Being an excessively driven person, I am frequently wrapped up in goals and visions that I occasionally lose sight of the beauty in non-doing. In coming to these conclusions within myself, I feel as though I am in a better position to understand other people who have a similar mindset and thought-pattern, and thus understand their needs as students.

In revisiting this book a couple of years after initially read, it is much more poignant and meaningful. The body is vulnerable and subject to challenge, but the soul is indeed immortal and can rise above the hardships of the impermanent body. A life minus attachment is uplifting to the spirit and can pave the way for numerous changes and growth in the soul.

My body is simply a physical vessel for all that is deeper. I might feel as though it is failing me, but I remind myself that I am not my body. I often struggled with yoga because the physicality of it was something I had a difficult time with. Now I understand that having struggled with physical challenges for several years – but more intensely in the past 6 months – to work with the postures that my body resonates with and that which brings comfort. In doing so, not forcing, not pushing, and just accepting “what is”, there is great joy and liberation in it.

This past Thursday, I delivered a speech entitled “Eat, Pray, Love… Gratitude“. Inspired by the book Eat, Pray, Love, I was made aware of the parallels between the book and my own growth/development and chosen path in life.

Eat: Raw and living foods. Even though I am detoxing and relatively miserable at times, I know it’s a temporary state and I’m willing to push through it. The fact is: I am more concerned these days with what comes out of my mouth, rather than satisfying addictions going into it. I miss eating certain things, but I am enjoying and relishing the process and learning experiences that come with having to deal with one’s feelings head on… I can no longer eat them!

Pray: My growing involvement with church/activities. I am finding my new community to be loving, inspiring, and supportive. I’m happy to be a part of it. I am attending weekly service, as well as a Bible Study and Encounter Group. This is becoming an important part of my spiritual journey.

Love: My relationship. Am I really considering committing myself to someone with 2 young children? Am I willing to put aside most of the “me” to become a “we”. The answer is yes. I love him deeply and want to spend my life with him. I don’t think I’ve ever been able to say this – calmly, rationally, and without a drink or 5 2. Everything I am and will be, I want to share with him.

I eat. I pray. I love… 1 Cor 13:13b “But the greatest of these is love.”